Observations of an 8th Grade Parent

I am a total people watcher. I enjoy just sitting and observing people's actions, what they are wearing, how they interact with others, etc. Last night was a great opportunity for this as Kermit and I attended Jake's' 8th grade graduation and then chaperoned the 8th grade dance (much to Jacob's horror).

Let me start by saying that the graduation was great. It wasn't too long but still gave credit to those who were deserving. Jacob even won an award! We were shocked when the American Legion Auxiliary named him third place in the "Where Have the Heroes Gone?" essay contest. He didn't know he was getting the award so it was great to see the surprised look on his face. He looked handsome in his cap and gown and he was very excited about not having to ever go to the principals office at Gavin Jr. High, again : ) By the way...when did we start having 8th grade graduation ceremonies? My 8th grade graduation consisted of them handing me a report card on the last day of school and saying "have a great time in high school, now get out" (or something like that).

Then came the dance. Sooooo interesting.

The first thing I noted was that all of the girls seemed much older than 14. I have never seen so many young girls dressing like mature women in my life. Some of there outfits were so revealing that I wouldn't want to see ANYONE wearing them. In stark contrast, the boys were struggling to keep their ties on and some even pulled off their dress shirts so that they could wear their T-shirts to the dance.

Next I watched their dancing. It was interesting to see that some songs immediately got everyone dancing and some made everyone stop. I was impressed that the majority of the dancing was clean and harmless with only one instance in which I had to go over and say "leave some room for Jesus in there". The funniest part was that all the girls really wanted to dance and most of the guys were totally not interested. This meant that most of the girls danced together in big groups while the guys stood in the back of the room doing kung-foo and seeing who could slide the farthest across the floor.

Slow dancing. There was a definite difference in the different versions of slow dancing. Some were very close and some stayed at arms length away. Some were very smooth and some were very stiff legged and awkward. In almost all situations, the girls dragged the guys onto the floor for the slow dances.

You could really see the cliques. It was obvious who were the popular kids and who were not. Jacob is not in the popular group but he is also not completely friendless but you could still see who approved of him and his friends and who did not. He didn't seem to mind.

As I stood guard at the door (so no-one could get out without their parents), I thought:

- What made the popular kids "popular" in a way that they feel it is OK to treat others poorly. What makes the "lessors" feel like they are less?

- What type of home life do these kids have? Do ANY of them know Jesus or even have an idea of basic morality?

- Why do young teens feel the need to be grown up? Could anything have been done to make them see the value in just being 14?

- Why do young teens feel the need to experiment sexually? Do they not understand that when they give themselves away they are literally giving away a part of themselves emotionally that they will never be able to retrieve?

- What can I be doing to make a difference for the ones who obviously need positive attention?

I have to say, I realized that I am just as "un-cool" now as I was when I was in school. I have never been the trend-setter or the trend-follower. I am no more in touch with what is going on with 14 year old culture now than I was in 1986. BUT THAT IS OK! Because the biggest realization I had was that I am OK with never having been "IT"! Having grown up the way that I did I have an appreciation for the every day things in life that others take for granted. I have a heart for people who suffer at the hands of others and a desire to make things better for them. All of this came from at one time being 14 and struggling through everything I observed at this dance.

I would NEVER want to be 14 again, but I sure am thankful for what I learned the first time around! Trust me, I will be praying for these kids as they enter high school in the fall. Most of them have no idea what they are heading for.

Here are some pictures from the evening.